Constant Mumblings

A Management trainee... a wannabe journo, theatre enthusiast.. right now trying to revive Teen Engine, a youth magazine... yeah and an obsessive passion for the Red Devils (Manchester United) Hail Glazer!!!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Pissed Off

It is almost ubiquitous. At least in India. And the worst part is, it escapes being written about. Beats me. Why must we tolerate gentlemen, kings and commoners alike, lining the sides of the road, their back to the world at large…doing the 'thing'? Sometimes civilization does mean coming round a full circle. No?

Yes, I am referring to the pee-in-the street syndrome. Nowhere, I must say, nowhere will this example of gross obscenity (and insanity) be found as publicly as in our country. The Islamic societies are restrained by religion to do so, and the rest are evolved enough to give up such canine propensities. So, why us?
Strangely, the British taught us good manners. We copied - from their suits, neckties and stiff upper lips to anything vulgar. No British sahib would think of committing such a vulgar act in public, not even for the Queens' sake. Even forefathers were more sober in answering the call of nature, the traditional dhoti and veshti being in favour of an elaborate sit down ritual in quiet privacy. The trousers and jeans have seemingly liberated the Indian male with this quick practice to bliss, the instant Nirvana.

The practice has spread to all walks of life. At any given point of time, you can spot a yuppie, primly attired, cellphone and limousine in tow, next to a kayenthi bhavan relieving himself by the busy thoroughfare. Democracy indeed, we have here! With both thinking of it as a birthright. The yuppie will never show any disgust for his pee-r, or vice-versa and the occasional glance at the other will be accompanied by an amicable smile of "well done, boy." Sometimes I wonder, why do Hindi film heroes, claiming to realistically portray real life into reel, shy away from doing such scenes. The only sequence where the act is shown is one in which the hero needs a conveyance for chasing the villain, the original owner minding his own act.

If it is the business of municipalities and civic bodies to remain unconcerned, the ordinary citizen turns a blind eye (or a hankied nose) to the menace. It has become so much a part of the contrast called India that we rarely seem to mind it. In metros as well as small towns, busy thoroughfares and side walls are a wash with the yellowish stains that urine leaves behind, not to speak of the intolerable stench. But even the concerned house owners who get to live by the side walls are helpless. They cannot possibly shout at every passerby without being threatened nor do their notices of 'DO NOT URINATE HERE' seem to affect the culprits. One ingenious landlord in my neighborhood, however, tried to foil such defacing by plastering the walls of his boundary with tiles engraved with pictures of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, hoping that the majority of the passers-by being Hindu, would keep off the wall. But conscience sure does give way to convenience. The very next week, he was baffled to see a heavy-coat of coal-tar over the tiles and it was nuisance as usual.

We know now that wild animals like the tiger urinate to make-off their personal territory. But reason fails to understand the similar behaviour among their evolved male Indian counterpart. We have to delve deep into the psyche of the Indian male to get to the root cause. Most would officially not admit belonging to the unzipped league, unless of course you catch them with their pants down. Most men offer the excuse of being ‘in a hurry’ or the sorry state of our public toilets as the case. But most would not admit of the sheer pleasure of doing it; the open air, carelessness for the world behind one's back, the display of pseudo macho-ism in public. A friend even sheepishly admitted, it is the thrill of doing ‘it’ while the Kollywood heroines stare at you!

With such strong undercurrents at work, it is doubtful if we could ever evolve into a civilized society. Building more urinals might help over fines or punishment, but until there is an effort to tune the Indian male ego, the state of affairs will remain pretty much the same - PISSED OFF

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